You give me Strength (Originally names Ryder Phillips)
by Cayteeeeeee
Summary: Ryder Phillips is the Daughter of Tom Philips, one of Johns old hunting partners, and was best friends with Dean Winchester. The left after Ryder's mom and sister were killed by a demon and her dad went off the deep end. Now she is back with the Winchesters but things have changed, whats wrong with Ryder, and will Dean be able to save her?
1. Chapter 1

**Avid Reader, first time writing, please leave a review and if you hate it let me know! Just want to make sure that you enjoy the work!**

 **I do not own supernatural! ENJOY**

 **Set in Dean and Sam's motel room during a case, General POV.**

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered the phone in the middle of the night, whose voice was this, well non other then Dean Winchester. He sat up in the uncomfortable motel bed where he had been sleeping, up until this point. His phone had been ringing for what felt like forever, finally getting annoyed he sat up and answered.

"Hi, uh, is this Dean, Dean Winchester." The voice on the other end asked. It was a gruff male voice that Dean did not recognize.

"Depends, who is this?" Dean asked. Sam was now woken up and he sat up in the other bed, farthest away from the door.

"Tom, Tom Phillips, I use to hunt with your dad." He said a little cheerier.

"Oh, Tom, god do you know what time it is?" Dean asked looking at the clock, immediately annoyed by the early morning wake up call.

"Sorry, I guess we have a bit of a time difference. Anyway, I have a favor to ask of you." Tom stated, and then continued. "Do you remember my daughter? Ryder?" Tom asked Dean.

"Of course I do, how is she." Dean asked remembering Ryder from the times Dad would hunt with Tom. They would all stay in the apartment together. She was a year younger then Dean, and he always made sure she remembered that he was the oldest. They lost touch after Toms wife passed away, Marlyn would always do the research for the boys, but unfortunately she was taken by a demon, along with there other daughter, Grayson. Tom went off the deep end, and never brought Ryder back. It was crazy to think of her now, this was 6 years ago, now she was a lot older.

"She's fine, listen, I'm hunting with a group that doesn't respond well to a female presence." Tom informed Dean.

"Psh, pigs." Dean stated under his breath, but Tom heard it.

"Yah, so I was going to see if you all would be willing to work with her, she is a great hunter I just do not want her off on her own. Do you think you could do that?"

"Of course, Sam and I would love for Ryder to come along with us. Ill send you the coordinates, Dean said.

"That would be great. Thank you boys for doing this, once I get the coordinates I'll let you know how long it will take us to be there. Once again, Thanks." Tom said again.

"Yah of course, Ill send them to you now." Dean said, "Bye Tom, drive safe." Then the conversation was over. Dean quickly sent the coordinates and a few minutes later got a text that said that they would be there in about 2 ½ days. It was just enough time to finish the research so when Ryder arrived they would be able to jump into the case.

"So, Ryder Phillips." Sam finally spoke. Dean nodded. "God we haven't seen her in what, 6 years?" Dean once again made no noise but nodded. He was thinking about what she looked like now, they never said it, but everyone was vaguely aware of the fact that those two were meant to be. When everything happened to her family Dean thought he would never see her again, but the stars had aligned and she was coming to him. Dean put on his tough façade and turn to Sam.

"Yah they will be here in a couple of days, some hunting group got something against female hunters. So we are going to hunt with her for a while. Lets get some sleep; we have a lot to do tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Decided to throw some of you a bone and give you a second chapter today, the first one just doesn't give you much does it? SO here it is Chapter 2 of Ryder Phillips. Warning: Contains insulations of abuse, please read with care.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

Ryder POV: 

I sat in the back seat of my dad's old pick up. I was supposed to be asleep, but how could I sleep when I heard him talking on the phone to hunters that he was going to drop me off with. I did not hear much of the conversation because the windows were open and the air muffled his voice. God I hate it here with him, why cant I grow up and leave. One day, one day I will. Suddenly I heard the phone snap shut, and the windows rolled up.

There was silence for a moment then I felt a full water bottle hit the back of my head. I stirred in the position I was in to look like he had just woken me up.

"Get up!" He yelled, his voice full of venom. I sat up and rubbed the back of my head. I could see the hate in his eyes, something I had become accustomed to. "You are going to stay with the Winchester boys." Butterfly's invaded my stomach, I tried hard not to show my excitement, but it was hard not to. "And you listen and you listen good. If you tell them anything, I will kill you. What do you do when you wake up in the morning." I looked down at my hands. "You are not going to like what's going to happen if I have to repeat myself."

"I-I-I uh run 10 miles." I said, my voice soft and small.

"What do you do when you mess up on a hunt?"

"I uh, add 5 miles, or until I puke." I said.

"And I will know if you do not." He said glaring at me. "We will be there in 2 ½ days. So do what you need to fix your ugly face, and get a change of clothing. He said glaring at me. I nodded and got into my bag finding my makeup. There was only one thing my dad would spend money on for me, and that was makeup, to cover the bruises on my face. God I hate it here, I want to run away.

 **Uh oh! So now we see why Ryder needs saving. She has an abusive father. So will Dean be able to save her? Or will she go back? Let me know what you think and what you want to happen! Thanks Follow and Favorite :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: So I apologize, I am having some MAJOR writers block with this story. I was trying my hardest to not make it to dramaie, however, I stopped caring. This is going to be a drama filled story, dealing with a subject like abuse is very hard. Thank you for those who are bearing with me, and if you would like to beta this story and help me figure out some chapters I WOULD LOVE IT. Also bear with me because I am a full time college student in accelerated courses working 3 jobs, and I have the memory of a Goldfish, so shout out to the person who reminded me to give this story some TLC. Like always, I do not own Supernatural, just Ryder. Also this story has mentions of abuse, I will make sure I warn if and when**

 **Ryders POV:**

I was now sitting in the front of my dads pick up, I did not put much makeup on so you could still see the bruises. I explained to him that if I tried to cover them up now and something happened and my makeup wore off, they would be suspicious, it was better just to have them showing and tell them it was from a hunt. He did not like this plan but he got over it. Once we pulled up to the motel I saw the Impala! John must have given it to Dean, he always wanted it, and dang I always wanted it. Butterflies engulfed my stomach, this was happening, this was real. My dad parked his pick up right beside the Impala and got out of the car to go knock on the door number Dean had texted us earlier. I stepped to the back to get my things out of the trunk when I heard the door open and his beautiful voice.

 **Deans POV:**

Sam and I were talking about the case we were working on right now, when suddenly we heard a knock on the door. This signaled that Ryder was here. Both Sam and I looked at each other with big grins across our faces. Finally I got up and answered the door.

Tom was the face I was greeted by when I opened the door.

"Tom." I said holding out my hand to shake his hand, he took my hand and nodded.

"Dean." He said, we stepped past each other and I walked over to his truck where I saw Ryder standing grabbing her bags. She looked so different. Her hair was darker; she had these bags under her eyes, not that you could really see them. She had a bruise covering one eye, and another on her jaw line. When she turned to look at me she smiled. That smile made my heart melt.

"Hiya Cakes." I said to her, she smiled even brighter and I walked over to hug her. I picked her up and noticed how light she was; I could swear I could feel her ribs. What was this about?

"Deano." She sighed into my shoulder. "Don't you think we are a little old for these nick names?" She said and I sat her down.

"Nuhu. Cakes and Deano will never get old." I said looking her in the eyes. Her eyes were like oceans, big and blue. I missed her so much. I grabbed her bag and walked her inside. Tom and Sam were talking over the case we were on, and he got up to hug her as well. When he lifted her like I did he looked up at me with concerned filled eyes, also obviously noticing the lack of weight she had on her. I just smiled and nodded signaling that I also had noticed.

"Well Sammy here got me all caught up on what you all are hunting, I better get going, and this group tends to leave people behind when they aren't there on time." He stated and I scoofted.

"Top notch group you are hunting with." He ignored the comment I made and looked up to me.

"Can I talk to you a moment?" He asked. I nodded and I heard Ryder mention that she was going to go use the bathroom. "Listen thanks for looking after her, I like hunting with this group, but they just do not trust girl hunters. Anyway there are a few things you should know. First off Ryder runs every morning, so if she is gone that's were she is. She kind of keeps to herself for the most part ever sense her mom and sister passed, so don't get offended if she shuts down. Also she has these nightmares. Just wake her up and she will get herself out of them. She does not need to be coddled. So that's it. It should be a few weeks before we are done. Ill text you when we are and you can text me where you are at so I can meet up and collected her." God I hate that he was talking about her like a piece of luggage.

"She can stay as long as she wants." I say to him. He nods and leaves.

"Wait are you going to say bye to Ryder." Sam asked, I was curious as well.

"No." He said and just leaves. Man that was weird.

 **Ryder POV:**  
My dad said he wanted to talk to Dean, but I knew he wanted to have Sam there so I excused myself to the bathroom. I went in and started to look at the bruises on my cheeks and then my eye, finally checking my stomach. It had some bruising on the ribs, nothing to bad, but it hurt a lot. I stopped and placed my ear to the door when I heard the hotel room door open and close. I heard Sam and Dean whispering and so I walked out knowing my dad was gone.

I was looking around the room when I walked in taking it all in.

"Your dad said bye." Sam tried to lie to me. I just smile and nodded.

"We aren't big on say goodbye." I smiled and stated.

We sat in comfortable silence until Sam decided to speak.

"Well I'm going to go get food." He said grabbing his jacket. "What would you like?" He asked me. I thought for a moment. My dad doesn't give me much food, and so I was not sure what to get anymore.

"Nothing, I ate on the road." I said.

"Get her chicken fingers and toast." Dean said to Sam while throwing him the car keys. I glared at him; he always did that, spoke for me. I would be lying if I said I did not love it sometimes. "O, come on, you know your hungry. Stop glaring at me." He said and smiled. Once Sam left I looked up at Dean.

"I missed you." He finally said smiling at me. I blushed and looked down at my hands.

"I really missed you to." I said trying to keep my emotions in check.

When Sam came back we started to work on the case some more. The boys were filling me in on the case. Haunted Asylum. We went and hunted it the night after but something happens to Sam, Dr. Ellcot possessed him. He ended up shooting Dean with rock salt gun. I felt so bad. I should have been there with Sam instead of staying with Kat and her boyfriend. We burned the bones and got out of there, I stayed quiet until we got back to the motel. I screwed up, I should have protected Sam and Dean better, someone got hurt, even if it was out of my control, which automatically meant it was my fault.

When we got back to the motel I helped Sam and Dean get cleaned up, then I grabbed my running gear and told them I would be back.

 **Deans POV:**

"Where are you going?" I asked Ryder, she just put on shorts and a t-shirt and had shoes in her hands, running shoes. They looked so worn out and tattered.

"Out." She said simply, smiling at me from the chair she just sat down on to tie her shoes.

"Come on Ryder, you are not going for a Run right now, it is late, and its cold out, just go in the morning." I said to her. However she continued to put on her shoes. I got up and grabbed her other shoe. Sam had just walked out of the bathroom and was watching us from the door.

"Please give me my shoe back, I have to go run." She said softly.

"Why do you have to go? Why can't you go in the morning?"

"I just have to go now." Her voice hiccupped and it sounded like she was going to cry.

"Come to bed. You had a long night as well, you need sleep, actually first you need food, but then sleep." She looked up to me with her ocean blue eyes.

"I have to go now." She whispered to me.

"Why?" I asked and she did not answer. "Come on Cakes, why do you have to go now, come one answer me." I kept taunting until she burst.

"Because if I don't then Ill get in trouble." She finally yelled. She covered her mouth with her hand, and she ran into the bathroom crying.

What does that mean she will get in trouble. Who is going to get mad at her? Then it clicked, all the bad feelings I have been having on how she looks and act, they have to go with this, and the only person she travels with is her dad.

"What was that about?" Sam asked stepping into the room.

"I'm not sure, but I am about to get to the bottom of this. Hey would you mind going and getting us food, and just all around making yourself scarce for the next hour or so, or until I text you?"

"Dean, its really late."

"Sammy please, something's wrong with her, and I think having one person questioning her is enough." He finally nodded and left the room I walked over to the bathroom door and slowly knocked….

 **AN: AWWWW Cliff hanger! I do apologize once again for not having this up sooner so I hope that you all like the longer chapter. So my question now, should I drag it out longer, or should I rip off the Band-Aid? So pretty much should Ryder tell Dean, or should she just keep it to herself longer. Let me know, I think I know how I am leaning because I am a more rip the band aide off, but I want to know what you all want! I'm hoping to get the chapter up in the next few days as I have more time, I would say by the latest Saturday night. Love yalls**


	4. IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE

Hey all I am putting authors notes up on both my stories! You probably will not get an update on my stories until after Christmas! Im sorry! Between my jobs I work 60 hours next week and I have school and I have to clean and I am stressing out and I have had 2 mental breakdowns and it is just a lot! BUT I AM STILL WRITING! I will be back in a couple of weeks so it is just a VERY VERY SHORT HIATUS! IF you do not hear from me before the New year then message and nag me, I have the memory of a gold fish sometimes :) But just know I love you all and thank you for the support you all have given me! In my short amount of time of writing you all have made me feel so loved! See you all soon!

Happy Holidays!


	5. Chapter 5

Ryder POV:  
What the hell was I doing, I'm sitting on a hotel bathroom floor and just gave it away to Dean that something was wrong.  
"Ryder, hey come on open up." He knocked softly. "Its just me now, Sam went out and wont be back for a while, please let me in.  
"Dean, I'm fine, please just leave me a lone." I begged through the wall hoping my pleas were pathetic enough to make him drop it, but this was Dean, lets be honest, this was not going to stop.  
"Ryder, I'm not going to stop bothering you about this until you tell me what wrong.  
"Dean, I cant." I said through chocked sobs. I heard the doorknob rattling but did not register what was going on until Dean entered the bathroom. I stiffened up and he reached out and put a confronting hand on my knee.  
"Ryder. Something is wrong. Something has been off about you, and your dad. I just want to help you, I want to be here for you, I want you." I looked up to him as he said the last part and could see the red rush to his cheek. "I um- I mean." Before he could take it back I leaned forward and attached my lips to his. It was rough and sloppy. Tears slid down my face still and he brought his hands to either side of my head and allowed his thumb to graze underneath my eyes to swipe away the salted tears that had escaped, while still having his lips attached to mine. We continued to get into the passion and continued to move our bodies together. Losing my thoughts in pure bliss I did not think of him lifting my shirt over my head, or register what he would see until I heard a gasp.  
Quickly I wrapped my arms around myself feeling over exposed.  
"Did he?" Dean asked taking in the bruises and scars that covered my body. "How long?" He finally was able to say. I was unable to look him in the eye, ashamed of what he was seeing me as. Weak and small.  
"Dean-" I said while looking down. "I-I-I is sorry." I finally spat out crumbling back down to the floor." He caught me around my arms and sank down with me. He held me while I cried.  
"He will never ever hurt you again. I promise you this. I will never let him or anyone ever touch you again. You are not going back to him. Ryder. He cannot have you back. I will run away with you, we will figure it out. But right now, please let me take a look at you." He said while kissing the top of my head and holding me tightly.  
It took us about 10 minutes but finally I untangled myself from him. He sat me up on the edge of the tub and went to go get the first aid kit. Officially I felt numb. I stared off into space, not noticing him walking back in and placing the kit on the toilet. He spent about 45 minutes cleaning up my cuts, putting cream and whatever else on bruises and cuts, wrapping my stomach I ace wrap, and then brought me over to the scale the boys kept with them apparently and checked my weight. I could see his face was drawn with disapproval. He carried me to the bed and tucked me in.  
"Before you go to sleep I want you to eat something, please." We will start getting you more and cut down on training until you are at a healthy weight. I started to protest.  
"But my dad-" Before I could finish the sentence, he shushed me softly while taking his hand and brushing back my hair.  
"Your dad has nothing to do with your life anymore, you are not going to have to deal with him, and if you never want to face him again, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make that possible." He said and finally kissed me again. "I am not leaving you, ever." He said softly while placing his forehead to mine. "I should probably call Sam though." He said with a grin.

20 minutes later  
Sam had come back with food. I could see him take note of my tear stained face and the exhaustion that was creeping in on me. Dean gave him a face that Sam obviously read and did not ask questions. Dean got me a lot of food and I ate all of it, immediately regretting it. I was not use to this much food in my system, but I figured I could just sleep it off.

Deans Pov  
Once Sam and I heard Ryders breathing even out I started talking to him, explaining what her father did to her and how she was bruised and scared and well underweight.  
"Oh, my gosh." Was all Sam could say?  
"Yah."  
"Well she is not going back to that baster and if we hear or see him again I am going to rip him a new one." He paused for a moment, "then kill him." He finished. I nodded my head in agreement, we would never actually kill him, and however we would put the fear of God in him. Sam and I finished talking about our plans to get out of here tomorrow and put distance between this town and us. We decided to take her to Bobby's and lay low until we could help her out more. Sam may take some hunts here or there, but we were going to focus of Cakes.  
I had been asleep for maybe an hour, I noticed that someone was moving and thrashing next to me. I sat up and noticed that Ryder was throwing her covers off in and hurry and running to the bathroom. I then heard her throw up and ran to the bathroom. She was holding onto the toilet spitting out the bile from her mouth. She moaned and I grabbed a washcloth and brought it to her mouth followed by a glass of water. She sipped and spit it out. Finally I got her to lie against me and relax a little bit.  
"To much food. Haven't had that much food in my system for a long time." She told me.  
"Ok, well we will start with smaller more bane meals."  
"Eww, not bland, I did eat, just not in such large portions." She said with a laugh and saw her eyes start to drift, she much have gotten out the food that was to much in her small stomach out of her system.  
"Ready to go back to bed." I got a simple nod and I lifted her up and carried her to the bed. Sam was sitting up, making sure he kept his distance but was ready if we needed help. He got up and pulled down the blankets so I could lay her down, and went and got a Gatorade. I nodded thanks when he handed it to me.  
"Here Cakes, drink some of this before bed." I told her and she took small sips. Water probably would have been better, not as much sugar and she probably did not need that on her stomach, but that was an afterthought, she seemed to be fine though. We all feel back into a rhythmic sleep knowing tomorrow we were leaving.

AN: Finally, this story has been a hard one for me. However, here is the update and I hope you like it. If you like the story please follow and review. Reviews are so important, its not for my ego, more so I know if this story is worth me taking the time to write, or should I focus it on other projects? Please review and let me know what you think :)


	6. Chapter 6

Ryder POV:

It was about 7am when Dean woke me up to get ready, he told me to shower and he would check the band aids and we went about our new found morning routine. He got me oatmeal and made sure to take note of how much I ate, and then would get me some water. I decided against anymore-sugary drinks. The Gatorade still felt like it was sitting in my stomach. Once I was ready to go we all got in the car and made our long journey to Bobby's place. Not much was said, and I slept a lot. We were about an hour out when Dean stopped and we all got out to get some food and drinks and use the restroom.

Upon getting into the bathroom my phone went off.

 _Status Update_.

It was from my dad. My hands started shaking and I had to take a few deep breaths to calm down. I did not answer and used the restroom and washed my hands. Noticing my complexion had gone pale I splashed some water on my face in hopes to make me feel better. When I stepped out I walked over to the station with food on it and Dean was standing there.

He took in my pale complexion and shakey hands. He quickly walked over to me and cupped my face with his hand.

"Did you get sick again? Was the oatmeal to much?" I shook my head no, not trusting my voice.

"You look sick, do you feel sick?" Once again shaking my head.

"Can you answer me and tell me what's wrong?" He asked me gently slouching down to get more onto my eye level. I still couldn't answer so I just handed him my phone with the message that was open. He let out an aggravated sigh and closed my phone putting it in his pocket. "You do not need to answer that, you are strong and he will not get to you again, ok?" I just nodded while he rested his forehead to mine. "You a little warm, Im guessing you worked yourself up a lot. Lets get some things and get to Bobbys so you can rest." He took my hand and led me to get the crackers and water. Sam was talking on the phone and was telling the person on the other end we were an hour out, obviously Bobby.

"Yah, shes ok, she slept most of the trip." He whispered. They told him, when did they tell him? I did not care really, this would make it less awkward when I showed up to his place. Less to have to explain. I was feeling tired again so I leaned to Deans body and he tightened his hold around me. I heard him finish the conversation and we bought out items and left to finish our journey to Bobby's.

Upon entering the car Dean handed me some water and crackers nodding at me to eat them. I slowly opened the crackers and took a bite and he smiled in approval. I took a few more bites and washed it down with water before I laid down, a tear slipping from my eye. I did not want to deal with this, my dad, being scared all the time, and I did not want to burden them. Dean had moved his rearview mirror down at some point without me knowing and had reached back and grabbed my hand while the other was on the wheel driving. He squeezed it and we made eye contact through the mirror.

"Your ok Cakes, your ok." He said a few times and finally I feel asleep again.

~About an Hour Later, Bobby's house~

I woke up to the sound of the door of the Impala opening and a rough callused hand on my face brushing my cheek.

"Cakes, sweetheart. Its time to get up, we are here." I looked up to him groggily. I was still so tired, I was finally catching up on the sleep my body had been missing. I groaned a little. "We are going to get you some soup and then you can get into a somewhat comfy bed." He said with a small smile. The smile that made the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. I grinned at him and slowly got up and he helped me out of the car. Sam was already carrying all our bags inside and Bobby was holding the door open.

Bobby had a sorrow filled smile that was plastered on his face as we approached. I could see he was trying to hold his emotions. The man had been like another father to me, up to the point when my dad took me away from them all. I could not hold back anything and I jumped and latched onto him.

He grabbed me tightly and kept saying how sorry he was, how that man will never hurt me again. Everyone had been saying, but when it came to my dad, no one could stop him if he really wanted something. He let go of me and led me to the kitchen where he had toast and soup ready for me and the boys. Bobby and Sam sat down, but Dean crouched beside me and lifted his hand to my forehead. He was such a helicopter mom. Haha, dean as a Mom, that would be funny.

"Your really warm. You feeling alright?" He asked me.

"Im really tired that's all, my throat is a little scratchy." I finally croaked out.

"Ok, well eat, we will check your temperature, and get you some medicine before we go to bed." He said smiling at me while placing his hand on my cheek. He then got up and sat down.

Once we were all finished eating Bobby got up and started to clean the dishes, when I offered help he refused and sent Dean and I to the guest room, and Sam to the other one. He was aware that there was something going on between him and I and just played it off by telling us that he would be more comfortable if someone else was with me. He never brought up my dad; we kept a calm conversation about a job near town.

Once Dean and I got up stairs he got me some cough medicine. I started to realize that my throat hurt really badly now, more than it did before. But I did not mention it. Dean and I laid down and he brought me over to his side, ignoring the fact that I might be sick and we fell into a deep sleep.

Suddenly I was woken up by someone screaming my name. I opened my eyes and realized Dean was in my face and Bobby and Sam were behind him. I was crouched down in the corner of the room shaking badly. I looked between all of them.

"Hey, hey." Dean said cupping my face. "You awake now?" He questioned. I nodded my head confused about what was going on.

"What happened?" I croaked out, my throat had gotten worse. I tried to clear it but then I started to cough, it was one that was deep in my chest and hurt to do.

"Calm down, calm down. Bobby can you get us some water? Sam help me get her back in bed." They both nodded there heads and Sam went to the bed to pull down the sheets and Dean helped me stand up and walked me to the bed. Sam then helped me get situated and Bobby came back with water. "Just go back to sleep and we can talk in the morning. I wont leave you." He said while brushing back my sweat soaked hair. I nodded and soon enough I was once again asleep.

AN: Thanks for reading! I got one review wanting to know what happens so I will continue to write this story. Please let me know what you think! Thanks for all the support.


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